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Lyrics:Genius In France
Lyrics: (Hahaha) (Well,) I’m not the brightest crayon in the box Everyone says I’m dumber than a bag of rocks I barely even know… how to put on my own pants! But I’m a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in France! Hoom chaka laka Hoom chaka laka Hoom chaka I may not be the sharpest hunk of cheese I got a negative number on my SATs I’m not good looking and I don’t know how to dance But nevertheless and in spite of the evidence I am still widely considered to be a Genius in France, genius in France, genius in France! People say I’m a geek, a moronic little freak An annoying pipsqueak with an unfortunate physique If I was any dumber, they’d have to water me twice a week But when the Mademoiselles see me, they all swoon and shriek They dig my mystique, they think I’m c’est magnifique When I’m in Par-ee, I’m the chic-est of the chic They love my body odor and my bad toupee They love my stripey shirt and my stupid beret (Bow, dway-doo dway-doo bow, dway-doo dway-doo bow) And when I’m sipping on a Perrier (Dway-doo dway-doo bow, dway-doo dway-doo bow) In some café down in Saint-Tropez (Dway-doo dway-doo bow, yeah) It’s hard to keep the fans at bay They say, "Sign my poodle, s’il vous plait" "Sign my poodle, s’il vous plait" Hemenene humenene Hemenene humenene Poodle… poodle… Folks in my hometown think I’m a fool Got too much chlorine in my gene pool A few peas short of a casserole A few buttons missing on my remote control A few fries short of a happy meal I couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel Instructions on the heel Instructions on the heel But when I’m in Provence, I get free croissants Yeah, I’m the guy every French lady wants And if you ask ’em why, you’re bound to get this response (He’s a genius in France! Genius in France!) That’s right (He’s a genius in France! Genius in France!) You know it (He’s a genius in France, genius in France, genius in France!) I’m not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree But the folks in France, they don’t seem to agree They say, "Bonjour, Monsieur would you take ze picture with me?" I say, "Oui, oui" That’s right, I say, "Oui, oui" ("Oui, oui") (He says, "Oui, oui") I’m dumber than a box of hair But those Frenchies don’t seem to care Don’t know why, mon frère But they love me there I’m a genius in France (Yeah) I’m a genius in France Gonna make a big splash when I show up in Cannes Gonna make those Frenchies scream "You ze man! You ze man! You ze man!" Like a fine Renoir (oir!), I’ve got that “je ne sais quoi” (quoi!) Like a fine Renoir (ooh la la), I’ve got that “je ne sais” Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, (bow diddy) oo-wee-oo (yeah) Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, (bow diddy) oo-wee-oo (didi-di di) Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy Bow snort I’m a taco short of a combo plate But by some twist of fate, all the Frogs think I’m great Oh, the men all faint and the women scream They like me more than heavy cream When I’m in Versailles, I’m a popular guy My oh my, I’m as French as apple pie (apple pie) They think I’m awful witty, a riot and a half When I tell a stupid joke, they laugh (haw haw haw haw haw) And laugh (haw haw haw haw haw haw) People in France have lots of attitude They’re snotty and rude, they like disgusting food But when they see me, they just come unglued They think that I am one happening dude Bowm ba ba bowm ba bowm ba bowm I’m about as sharp as a bowling ball But they like me better than Charles de Gaulle Entre nous, it’s very true The room temperature’s higher than my IQ But they love me more than Gérard Depardieu How did this happen; I don’t have a clue (yeah) Well, I’m not the quickest tractor on the farm I don’t have any skills or grace or charm And most people look at me like I’m all covered with ants But I’m a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in France! And I’m never goin’ back, I’m never goin’ back I’m never never never never goin’ back home again I’m tearin’ up my return flight ticket Gonna tell the folks back home where they can stick it ’Cause I’m never goin’ back I’m never goin’ back I’m never goin’ back The girls back home never gave me a chance But I sho’ ’nuff got them Frogs in some kinda trance And I’m aware that it’s a most improbable circumstance But Great Googily Moogily, I’m a genius in France Every Frenchie that I meet Just can’t wait to kiss my feet Get in line, pucker up! “Tout de suite”! Bowm diddy bowm diddy bowm diddy I’m gettin’ even more famous by the hour I’m stuffed with pastries and drunk with power Now they’re puttin’ up my statue by the Eiffel Tower A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the left A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the left I’m the biggest dork there is alive My mom picked out my clothes for me ’til I was 35 And I forgot to mention I’m not even welcome at the Star Trek convention But the Frenchies think That my poop don’t stink I’m a genius in France Say, would you pass the Grey Poupon? “Merci beaucoup” Back Genius in France